Waiting. Nostalgically, wistfully, hopefully.

In the 90's there was a show called "Dream On", and it had Brian Benben in it, and I thought it was funny. Here's why: The premise of the show was that his mother set him in front of a TV to act as a babysitter, and he was so exposed to it, that later in life, awkward or tense or funny or sad moments would trigger a memory of one of these campy 60's TV shows. If you watched it, you may have thought it was funny. I thought it was, but I can't really remember how it ended.

I digress.

I am afraid that I, too, have the "Dream On" syndrome, but rather than video flashbacks, I have audio "callbacks". I don't normally realize it, until after the fact, when whatever song was playing in my head directly correlates with the situation I just encountered, I connect the dots.

I'll give you a for instance.

The other day, my wife and I were talking about dreams that we had the night before, and as we regaled each other about weird, weird dreams, I realized that "Dream Weaver" was playing, on the mental '33 1/2' in my head. At just the right tempo, and with no scratches. (Scratches aren't really that bad...they added to much of the appeal in the music that I had). That's a singular incident, but I assure you that it is not isolated. At any given time, there is a miasma of rock and country and drum corps and percussion music and swing playing in continuous loop in my noggin. Trust me. If you work with me, and you come to talk to me, ask me what song is in my head. I will have one, and it may or may not be directly related to the situation at hand. But it will remix into something more apropos.

As music seems to morph situationally in my head to fit something happening, there are also songs which I hear that isolate a single incident. Do you have those? I can give you 3 instances:

The first is "Tainted Love", by Soft Cell. Yeah. Don't laugh. We had moved from El Paso, Texas to Mission Viejo, California, because my father had taken a job out there. I was convinced that I was not going to have a good time. And I remember as I was getting ready to go to school (Castille elementary), this was playing on the stereo that I had managed to pilfer from my sister. I swear to you, I can remember staring out my window getting ready for school, thinking "It is going to be OK". And it was.

There's another song, which is very sentimental to me. But it seems to come up a lot, because I am a very nostalgic person. It's from a Garfield special, and I didn't know it until a dear old friend gave it to me on a "Mix Tape" that she made for when I left. It's called "So Long", and it plays in my head, every time I have a wistful look back, or every time we have a really great time that comes to an end. I don't like for good times to end. But, they are always replaced by better times, and then they are replaced by better times, and the song just keeps playing. Stunted emotional growth? Who knows. I love the song, and am eternally grateful for gift that was given to me in it by my old friend.

There's another song, which is called "Marble Halls" by Enya. I don't know if it's traditional or not, but I remember exactly what I was doing, and what the result was. I was at TBA (Texas Bandmasters Association) convention with a couple of really great kids, and we were helping out with a clinic and performance. Desiree, and I had not yet married, and she was with a friend in Puerto Rico. (BTW - if you hear me tell this story live, there is more humor to it. But as this is not live, this is the real story). I remember listening to this song and thinking "What kind of love is it that in spite of all of the chaos and suitors and better offers out there for her to choose from, she would choose me?". It was then that I realized that I was not the upgrade, but the bargain. I was holding the prize. In a very unromantic fashion, I asked her to be my wife as soon as I picked her up from the airport. I'm glad that she said yes, because she is still the prize. And I am still the one who got lucky. It just took me a long time to realize it. I loved her then. I love her now. I love her all in between.

In a week, I will have a new son. I am pleased, excited, scared, awestruck, thankful, blessed, amazed, and lots of other adjectives. And, as I write this, "Joseph's lullaby" is in my head.

I look forward to meeting you, son.